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Goner Message Board / ???? / What's the biggest food you've ever sneaked in to a movie theater?
Posted: Dec 20, 2019 6:29 am
 
I've only ever sneaked in candy. I think it was a king size peanut M&Ms. Would love to be able to get away with sneaking in a burrito.
Posted: Dec 20, 2019 11:22 am
 
Many a burrito. Bottles of cheap wine when I was younger. A thing of chicken strips and fries once, which smelled up the whole theater - after I put the empty box down by my feet, I felt at least one rat scuttle by my foot during the movie.
Posted: Dec 21, 2019 5:20 am
 
Ahhh, rat theaters. What about, like, in a "nice" theater, and one where you're actually sitting next to a few people? Can it even be gotten away with? I really want to eat a burrito when I go see rise of Luke Skyywalker today. Booze is easy enough. If I wasn't going alone I would bring some whiskey and have Christine drive home.
Posted: Dec 21, 2019 5:44 am
 
Are you talking about those theaters with the reserved seating of reclining chairs or the dark, sticky theaters where someone keeps holding a popcorn box in their lap and offering you a handful? Don't you have theaters where you live that serve booze and pizza?
Posted: Dec 21, 2019 5:49 am
 
Who's gonna rat you out for bringing food into the theater, anyways? If you can get past the disinterested teen at the door, the world is your rotisserie chicken!
Posted: Dec 21, 2019 8:43 am
 
Ahhh, rat theaters. What about, like, in a "nice" theater, and one where you're actually sitting next to a few people?

It was actually a fairly nice place. Pretty sure ALL theaters are rat infested, with the amount of popcorn getting dropped. The fancier theaters just have those snooty monocle wearing 1-percenter rats.

Do you have a grey or beige bathrobe? If so, you're halfway to a Star Wars cosplay costume. Hot glue some refrigerator magnets and a couple bell jar lids to the tin foil on your burrito and *BAM* you got yerself a lightsaber - the perfect burrito disguise/life hack, ya nerd!
Posted: Dec 21, 2019 12:06 pm
 
used to sneak in bottles of booze/18 packs of beer, hot sam pretzels, and hoagies from the food court into the mall theater.
Posted: Dec 22, 2019 6:24 am
 
The Troll:
the world is your rotisserie chicken!

Impressive!

But how common is it to get sweated by fellow movie goers for bringing in substantial foodstuffs? I don't wana get shot over a burrito, no what I'm sayin?

chiXpoXparty:
Do you have a grey or beige bathrobe? If so, you're halfway to a Star Wars cosplay costume. Hot glue some refrigerator magnets and a couple bell jar lids to the tin foil on your burrito and *BAM* you got yerself a lightsaber - the perfect burrito disguise/life hack, ya nerd!

Right. I'm the nerd.
Posted: Dec 26, 2019 10:25 am
 
My brother in law once snuck in french onion soup in a bread bowl.

My wife and I bring in our own snacks and drinks all the time & nobody's ever said shit.
Posted: Jan 2, 2020 7:10 am
 
bazooka joe:
Would love to be able to get away with sneaking in a burrito.

wear a big coat???
Posted: Jan 2, 2020 7:25 am
 
He's more worried about what other people think about him bringing in food. He should just work on his glare, so, when he gets sweated for bringing in food, he can turn to the busy bodies and glare and whisper "MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, um, unless you have some salsa, I forgot mine".
Posted: Jan 2, 2020 1:22 pm
 
Yeah, I don't need any more fucking confrontation in my life. But I also don't wanna get kicked out. Movies are expensive!
Posted: Jan 2, 2020 1:32 pm
 
2 small burritos you can fit in your cargo short pockets
Posted: Jan 10, 2020 1:23 pm
 
My mom called today and we got to talking about movies (she told me she went to see the new Star Wars) so I asked her about sneaking food into theaters, and she said she brings peanut butter sandwiches. Didn't even mention jelly.
Posted: Jan 10, 2020 2:55 pm
 
turn a bucket of chicken into a hump on your back or bring a stroller with you and load it up with stuff. if somebody questions you about the child shsssh them and say "theyre sleeping"
Posted: Jan 11, 2020 5:46 am
 
You know, most theaters now don't have them anymore, but, I used to use theater cry rooms all the time for bringing in food, smoking, drinking, making out. You should do that.
Posted: Jan 11, 2020 11:44 am
 
Actually, I think The Beef is onto something: you should just have a kid! Think about all the shit you can haul around under the stroller or in the diaper bag! You could use the insulated bottle bags for your beer! You could have the baby in one of those bjorns and slide some pepperoni sticks down it's back! Get cracking and have a kid!
Posted: Jan 11, 2020 3:08 pm
 
My idea was just to have the stroller. You dont have to actually have a child
Posted: Jan 11, 2020 5:35 pm
 
No, no, he DOES have to actually have a child. As a human, BJ must evolve his theatre-sense by pushing the boundaries! Besides, if he does, he can actually have a conversation with his mum that doesn't involve jelly.
Posted: Jan 12, 2020 8:36 am
 
BJ adopt me, i'll wear a diaper
Posted: Jan 12, 2020 12:05 pm
 
not sure how "having a child" equals "pushing boundaries". seems pretty standard staying in the boundaries if you ask me.

unless he creates one out of dead baby parts or something
Posted: Jan 17, 2020 10:06 am
 
only candy. but i once stole an atari 2600 and about 30 games in one haul, lol. stuck that bitch under my jacket the best i could and walked straight out the front door with it. one of my best hauls as a kid, haha
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