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Goner Message Board / ???? / how to kill yourself in an airport terminal?
Posted: Aug 1, 2010 9:46 am | Edited by: Womb Raider
 
it's tuff because there are no weapons at your disposal. i was thinking maybe i'd wrap a popeyes drumstick in one of those giant sbarro pizza slices, and then try to swallow it whole. any other ideas?
Posted: Aug 1, 2010 9:59 am
 
go back to the beacon.
Posted: Aug 1, 2010 10:27 am
 
paper clip/ electric outlet?
Posted: Aug 1, 2010 10:50 am
 
i don't even have any shoelaces, so escalator suicide is out of the question... sarah suggested buying a bunch of hot dogs from nathan's and wrapping them around myself like it was a bomb, and then maybe a cop would shoot me; they'd probably just use non lethal force though, plus it'd be a waste of good hot dogs.
Posted: Aug 1, 2010 11:05 am
 
Wear a long coat, have some sort of wire running through your sleeve (you can get this out of your carry-on bag after you've entered the terminal, (from a hair dryer, electric shaver, etc.)), make a little detonator-looking thing with a piece of cardboard and a red button, wrap the cord around it, wipe some water on your forehead, and walk slowly up to a cop saying, "mum-mum-sha-bai-mum-mum-sha-bai-Allahu Akbar!!!!!" Repeat if necessary.
Posted: Aug 1, 2010 11:18 am
 
Ride the luggage carousel back through the flap. They might have something that could be used as a weapon back there. A screwdriver to the throat, perhaps?
Posted: Aug 1, 2010 11:29 am
 
pills.
Posted: Aug 1, 2010 11:56 am
 
Throw yourself in front of an airport golf cart full of fat people.
Posted: Aug 1, 2010 2:53 pm
 
Do you think you could kill yourself with one of those defibrillator devices that are all over the inside of airports? like maybe if you defibrillated your own head?
Posted: Aug 1, 2010 3:06 pm
 
Chew the wires, fibrillate-away. That would probably get you close.
Posted: Aug 1, 2010 3:29 pm
 
If you could somehow make it to the tarmac, you could just throw yourself into the engine turbine thingy of a plane that's just cranked. That would create a brilliant flash as you get sucked in then a large red koolaid spray out the back of the engine. That would be the most rad way to go at an airport and we could all watch the video later on youtube.
Posted: Aug 2, 2010 3:55 am
 
Regardless of if he was murdered, you could go David Carradine with a womans scarf or belt from your karate outfit.
Posted: Aug 2, 2010 3:24 pm
 
Just scream " Allah Ackbar I have a bomb.."
Posted: Aug 2, 2010 3:44 pm
 
Just scream " Allah Ackbar I have a bomb.."

I love you, you little DF.
Posted: Aug 2, 2010 3:56 pm
 
If you could somehow make it to the tarmac, you could just throw yourself into the engine turbine thingy of a plane that's just cranked. That would create a brilliant flash as you get sucked in then a large red koolaid spray out the back of the engine. That would be the most rad way to go at an airport and we could all watch the video later on youtube.


i ain't fallin for it, but i almost did.
Posted: Aug 2, 2010 9:15 pm
 
Take a tooth brush and file it down on some concrete and start stabbing yourself..like a prison shank type deal.
Posted: Aug 3, 2010 2:34 am
 
You could rip your throat out ala Human Centipede....but I'm still partial to kinky sex death.
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