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Goner Message Board / ???? / Day after St Patrick's day joke
Posted: Mar 18, 2009 11:46 am
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. 'Damn' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face.

'Damn !'

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

'By Jeebers.... I'm a little crocked,' he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No damn' way'. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says ' Damn it ' and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'

Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was really crocked. But how'd you know?'

'Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.
Posted: Mar 18, 2009 12:53 pm

What's Irish and sits on the back porch?

Paddy O'Furniture!
Posted: Mar 18, 2009 5:59 pm
Where do Irish families go on vacation?

A different bar!

What's the difference between an Irish wedding & an Irish funeral?

One less drunk.
Posted: Mar 18, 2009 6:16 pm
Q: Who stole all that dirt from my yard?
A: The Irish.

Q: What did they do with that dirt?
A: Used it as soap.

Q: Why?
A: Instinctual need to smell like peat.

Q: Seriously?
A: Irish people defy all logical standards of filth. Their pores ooze mud. Their fleshy craggs are rife with organisms.

Q: You can't be serious.
A: They stole my fucking dirt, ok?
Posted: Mar 18, 2009 6:47 pm
God bless the Irish, without em we wouldnt have MacDonalds, or The Mc5.
Posted: Mar 18, 2009 10:19 pm
Legend has it that there is a dead Irishman for every mile of Great Lake canal that was dug. Prolly buried in the dirt & concrete below. You know, the "luck of the Irish" originally meant bad luck.

Posted: Mar 19, 2009 5:00 am
one for the day after the day after St Patrick's day...

a boy goes to his father and asks for $10 for a Guinea pig.
"$10 for a Guinnea Pig?! No, here's $5, get yourself an Irish girl"
Posted: Mar 19, 2009 5:18 am
what do you call the two gay irishmen?

patrick fitzgerald and gerald fitzpatrick!!
Posted: Mar 19, 2009 1:10 pm
Posted: Mar 20, 2009 6:07 am
Excuse me...McDonald's and The Mc5 are both Scottish!
Posted: Mar 20, 2009 6:12 am
Excuse me...McDonald's and The Mc5 are both Scottish!

what about McHomo's?
Posted: Mar 20, 2009 9:53 am
I fell on my face on the way home from the St. Paddy's celebration at Murphy's.

True Story.
Posted: Mar 22, 2009 3:16 pm
Scott is right. True story, a few years ago someone asked about my jacket, i had painted MC5 on it..some guy says to me " hey are those guys from Ireland?" I said " Yea, I think they're from Dublin.."
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 1:57 am
Great wheelchair joke!
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 2:47 am
Great wheelchair joke!

Not too many out there
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 3:42 am
Q: What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?

A: Putting her back in the wheelchair.

No longer works, I guess:

Q: Why didn't Superman stop the planes from hitting the towers?

A: He's in a fucking wheelchair.
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