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Posted: Feb 4, 2008 4:24 pm
 
Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence

By Holly S. Anderson
VillageSoup/Knox County Times Senior Reporter

CAMDEN (Feb 1): The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus.

According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"

According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school.

"They would do it in science class and other places," said Jordan Tyler. "It's a natural occurrence and we all do it 16 times a day."

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn't remember where they heard it.

One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.

Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, "It's gross."

Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences.

Attempts to reach CRMS Principal Maria Libby Friday afternoon were unsuccessful and school Superintendent Patricia Hopkins said she had not heard anything about the issue or the alleged suspected result, though she did get a good chuckle out of the news.


http://knox.villagesoup.com/rewrite/108448.htm
Posted: Feb 4, 2008 8:42 pm
 
I got detention for farting once in 4th grade...and it wasn't even intentional. My teacher just really really hated me(and my parents) for no real reason, and would just give me detention for any little thing...including indigestion.
Posted: Feb 4, 2008 11:05 pm
 
i once got sent outside for mouth breathing. i had a cold.
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 3:20 am
 
Once when I was in middle school, I accidentally farted in math class. The only person that even heard it was the girl sitting behind me, but as soon as she did she started acting grossed out and made a big deal about it cause she was a cunt. So the (total dickhole) teacher asked what was wrong, and she said "Mark's being rude with his bodily functions!" Then he told me that if I had a "problem" again, I should use the bathroom. Like I'm gonna walk all the way down to the bathroom just to fucking fart. Am I supposed to stand in a stall when I do it?? Pull down my pants maybe?

That guy was a total asshole. He also used to make comments like "Must be a woman driver on the road" any time we heard police sirens outside.
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 3:24 am
 
During a geometry test in 10th grade the girl sitting in front of me did the hilarious sneeze/fart combo. I laughed, got in trouble and had to go to the hall for disrupting the class.
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 6:49 am
 
I'm farting right now.
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 7:33 am
 
sneeze/fart combo
I love that band! Opened for the Roulettes and Dave Clark 5 at the Cavern Club in 1964. Originally, they were a skiffle grouo called The Silent Dukes.
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 7:40 am
 
the best is the cough/fart combo
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 10:13 am
 
sometimes i'll sneeze and fart at the same time.
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 11:51 am
 
What about the ol' Shittin and Pukin at the Same Time Blues?
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 11:58 am
 
What about the ol' Shittin and Pukin at the Same Time Blues?

The rooster.
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 11:59 am
 
the best is the cough/fart combo
actually, the best is the sprint/fart combo
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 12:03 pm
 
I could probably say something witty here.
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 12:21 pm
 
The Silent Dukes

They later morphed into the early 70s prog-rock band Silent But Deadly.
Posted: Feb 5, 2008 12:44 pm
 
Once when I was in middle school, I accidentally farted in math class.

Happened in French class for me. I didn't want to be obvious by leaning to the side to let the fart out, so I leaned forward and the fart came out kind of high pitched. Everyone in class heard it and looked at me. I pulled the move that Chevy Chase does in Spies Like Us, where he farts and then looks at the guy next to him like he's the one who passed gas. It didn't work 'cause I started laughing too hard.
Posted: Nov 4, 2019 6:59 pm
 
This is hilarious! Usually, though, in my experience, it's the girls doing the farting. I'm a high school senior and we make a game out of it. Intentional farts are used for comedic purposes like answering questions with farts and farting on people. Everyone hates the upperclassmen girls now because most people have been gassed already. Once, I leaned to the side and ripped a pretty long, loud foghorn blast in the middle of a history lecture, which got some chuckles around the room, even from the teacher. I'm not even embarrassed anymore, because so many of my friends have done it now. One of them shat herself accidentally, though. Risk vs reward, I guess.
Posted: Dec 3, 2019 12:41 pm
 
Bea1776:
Risk vs reward, I guess.

where's uselesseater
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